Food, Shame and Recovery

FOOD, SHAME & RECOVERY
Shame has been such a huge part of my life that it was just “normal”.  I had no idea that I didn’t have to live in shame.  The compulsive overeating kept me in shame.  It told me I wasn’t good enough.  When I came to OA, I learned that I could live a sane and serene life without shame.  Recovery is so vital to learning that I am good enough.  I am so thankful that I don’t have to live in my old life.  Recovery gave me a life
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Before OA, guilt, shame, and food ruled my life.  Now that I am in recovery, I no longer live in the food and, working the steps relieved me of guilt and shame day by day.
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When I am feeling shame about food in recovery, I try my best to reach out, at least,  to my sponsor.  She seems to be able to pull me out of it.  I also pray to my HP.  I also try to remember that I am worth it and am NOT my shame.
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My sponsor told me if I don’t love, accept, and forgive myself, I will not stay abstinent.
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Shame is hard to face because it tells me I am not o.k.  It has been important to talk to a trusted friend in recovery about what I am feeling shame about.  The exposure of the shame helps to heal from it.  Don’t listen to the negative shame based ideas in your head.
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Shame over food is perpetual in a compulsive overeater’s life.  Once I entered OA and understood my condition as a disease, it was easier to free myself from the shame.  Should a person with cancer feel shame?  No.  The answer is understanding I can turn my food, my shame, and anything else over to a Higher Power.  I can be gentle with myself.  Of course there are still times I feel shame over something I ate, but now I gently let go of it and move forward.  Such is the way for a recovering addict.